Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax...

Possessed of an acute sense of smell & a curious nature so no matter what city he goes to he always ends up in chinatown.

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Location: Appleton, Wisconsin, United States

Sunday, September 11, 2005

man. what a day. what a lazy day. I didnt leave the house other than to take the dogs out side a few times today. I did a lot of talking with people, wrote some letters, listened to a lot of music and did some much needed cleaning. Currently I am listening to "The Delivery Man" by Elvis Costello. Great record. Blogger doesnt have that cool thing that Xanga has where you can show the CD artwork above of your "currently listening to" selection. bah.
Now to move on to the actual reason i am posting....I thought today, as i am sure much of you did, about how little Brian Riggins updates his blog. It is especially dissapointing since in his last post he talks of a "twice a month" posing schedule...which, by the way brian, is the most pussy ass thing i have ever even heard you or anyone who has the ability to type say. I mean...like its that hard...this post from start to finish is going to take less than 15 minutes to create. The bottom line is that he is just a lazy human who will respond to this whole thing with something like, "Man, i got this job...im always tired...bixby's dad...the monitor turns on the air conditioning....blah blah. well. All of that is null and void for two reasons.
  1. Weekends - There is more than enought time for you to type something on the blog on the weekends. MORE THAN ENOUGH TIME.
  2. Mike Pape - I know mike works a lot. He also has a wife. He also has a dog. He also has other things to do, probably. BUT...on top of all that Mike finds time to improve the internet with his wonderful postings over at EPTH very, very often.
You have no excuses unless you have no fingers or Al Gore turned off the internet in Rockford.
Neither of which are an issue.

This all proves how much of an Ass Hat you are.








I love you Brian, all i ask is for blog posts.
can you deliver?
Mike Pape can deliver. Both pizza and an amazing up-to-date blog.
step up to the task.
be like Mike.
Mike Pape.

6 Comments:

Blogger Mike Pape said...

I feel compelled to mention that 90% of the time I'm posting from work, because I don't work for Drew's dad. I am also insane...about blogging!

Brian, update your blog more. It's fun. Try not to think of it as a blog, think of it as a jilted lover who has embarassing pictures of you.

Thanks for the love, Dan.

9:45 AM  
Blogger Paul said...

As funny as this post is, it's time for a new one. Let's get on it Dan-o.

2:01 PM  
Blogger DannnnnMCMAhonnnnnnn said...

okay.

2:53 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

Dan, you totally need to set up an RSS site feed for Firefox for this beeotch.

12:25 PM  
Blogger Danny said...

You know, not to be a bitch about it...I know that I'm not the one who be allowed to say a thing...but I have to admit that you are being a bit of an asshat right now with not publishing dick for over a week. I mean i know that you are all busy and shit with those things you do, hey I like the sound of that you should write a song about those things you do. Ha. Sorry, I'm a horrible person. Hey, if you were those people from that movie with Liv Tyler about the band where Tom Hanks was the manager would you totally hold it over Gorsky? Because that guy really loves Tom Hanks.
Anywho. The least you could do is post some more R. Kelly lyrics for me to think about...but then again I guess that I could do the same for you. Here are few lines that I found to be most enjoyable from his 1993 album "12 Play".
Song: "I Like the Crotch on You"
Chorus-
I like the crotch on you
I want the crotch on you
I need the crotch on you
So tell me what you're gonna do? (x2)

Best verse-
C'mon baby, let me see you swing it
I like the way you come off baby when
you wiggle it
Jiggle it, mmmmmm tasty
And when you see it your're gonna wanna
freak me
Only if you're old enough baby
Eighteen and over or sixteen and under
Oh but how i wonder, I wonder, I wonder

Mr. Kelly must not like 17 yr olds.

One more you say? Okay then, it's your time as well as mine.

Song: "Summer Bunnies"
Best Verse-
This party is packed, word to the mother
I love it when there's three bunnies to
one brother
And wine coolers is what I'm packin'
And when I get my buzz on is when I
start bunny-jackin'
Jacnn' fools for their bunnies
'Cause I'm the K. the E. the double L.
the Y
They wanna get with me
And the PAs Inthe house
So check, check check it out
My stomach is growlin' so it's time to
got mine on
Some sould food,
Kook Aid and you know it's on
I hate to eat and run but I'm out my homie
Been invited to a block party
So we roll up in all our style
WIth the brothers yellin', summer bunnies

Wow, the glory days of gangsta rap. It shall also be pointed out that the R to the K the E double L and Y would like to say "A very special thanks to the one who encouraged and inspried me to be whee I am today. This album is for you, Ma."
Must have been a stripper...how else could one enspire such greatness. I mean I know that all of the strippers that I have seen have an amazingly keen sense of maternal instinct; they always call me baby.

8:38 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

Come on Dan McAsshat, another blog post.

7:51 AM  

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